The Missing Cheat Codes to a Better Life

Tim Denning’s list is fine, but I think it’s incomplete.

Crissi Langwell 🦋


Photo by Catalin Pop on Unsplash

Tim Denning posted a crowdsourced story about things you need for a better life, with ideas people shared on Twitter. You can read it below:

TLDR: The list includes pursuing your goals in private, a spouse/partner, a dog or cat, daily writing, surrounding yourself with people you admire, doing with less, exercise, and family.

These are all great things, and for sure will add meaning and happiness to your life. But I felt this list was lacking 4 very important things, at least for me. I’ve noticed that when I’m not diligent in these 4 areas, I tumble down a spiral of self-pity and dark feelings. But when I pay attention and keep these 4 things in my life, everything feels so much better.

Here’s what they are.

1. Skip the toxic comparison

It’s hard to be happy with yourself when you’re constantly judging your looks, status, income, and success against other people around you. And yet, we do this all the time. A scroll through Instagram might have you feeling old, plain, and boring. Go to a party, and you wonder if you’re the fattest person there. Your high school reunion will remind you that you’re stuck in a dead-end job and still aren’t married. None of your TikTok videos have reached viral status. You aren’t making a living off your side gig. And you still aren’t a Top Writer on Medium.

Because of comparison, you’ll never feel skinny enough, strong enough, rich enough, smart enough, successful enough…

While some comparison is good to help you set a goal, it can be toxic if all you’re able to focus on is your own inferiority.

According to Psychology Today: “The inspiration you feel about someone else’s achievements can rev up the motivation to improve your own life. The recognition that your abilities are a notch above someone else’s can deliver a boost to your self-esteem. But



Crissi Langwell 🦋

Romance & women’s fiction author. I write on Medium about a variety of topics because I’m not good at staying in one lane.